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I leave you because I love you too much…

Listen to the article (Italian)


I leave you because you are too much for me, I don’t deserve you, I realize that I am clipping your wings…
I leave you because I know you can have better…
I leave you because your life is wonderful and I would only ruin it…
I leave you because I love you too much…

The kindness in being dumped like this, seduced and then abandoned with these senseless phrases, perhaps sent via a simple SMS or a WhatsApp message followed by the immediate blocking of the recipient, phrases so stereotyped as to be more of an insult than a cordiality that, in the end, probably had the purpose of not hurting your wavering and insecure little heart…


But what if they weren’t always clichés? What if sometimes it was the truth?


I’m not actually talking about heart problems, but I’m obviously referring to some small experiences on some projects presented as works of excellence… I start with what stimulated my post:


A (more or less) recent wonderful project in which I would have had the honor of participating, if I had met certain requirements.



Far be it from me to come across as arrogant or haughty, I am not at all like that, in fact, I am one of the most available people in the world, open to any type of work because in my eyes anything becomes as prestigious as possible.


They call me for an offer where they were looking for a fairly important role for an innovative and very high-level project, directed by a person with extraordinary experience and sensitivity, I listen to the description of the figure sought and candidly exclaimed: “My God! But he’s talking about me!”, so it was clearly one of the reasons why I had the honor of being considered, the agency in question had old data of mine, not updated and some rough demos made at the beginning.



The thing was presented to me and it was a very attractive project, so much so that we didn’t even talk about economic issues… It was a beautiful idea, presented in a wonderful way and first of all, I would have wanted to be part of it, more than to pay the bills, to give free rein to creativity or simply to unleash my little inner voice actor, so I agreed to do a test.


A very informal dialogue ensues, with description of the scene, dynamics, special requests, a cinematic-style project that would have required attention and cinematic vocal acting, concluding with a somewhat suspicious question: “Would you be able to do it?” I am a person with a thousand doubts and uncertainties and before taking any step in any field, I try to achieve what for me is a sort of perfection, I will have doubts even about my name, but I certainly don’t have any about my work, so I answer: “Of course, this is my job, so I am able to do everything and I can adapt to any request! So trust me…”.



It needed, I said, a test of some parts to make a pre-assembled with what they had already recorded, among many candidates we were left with two, so a 50% chance of victory… I finish another job calmly and with a clear mind I set out to record my track…



I get caught up in the part and record it all, edit it and send it off, with some speed, sure but it was a test and I had the confidence that it was a good test.


I send the file, the person doesn’t listen directly but decides to test both audios on his recording right away and I politely wait for news.


The working day had come to an end and I still hadn’t received an answer. Patience, “do and forget” is part of the job…


The following day I received an answer, this time very formal:


"Mr. Nicola, I apologize for not having given you any news but only today I was able to carry out the test with the sound engineer and I apologize for having stolen your time.



Unfortunately, we have concluded that despite the quality of your work being excellent, it is not possible for us to present it to the client for budget reasons (what does that mean?).


I hope to be able to bla bla bla".


In essence: “I leave you because I love you too much…”


I immediately thought it was a trivial excuse, but they would have raised fewer doubts if they hadn’t answered me at all. The budget issue was not clear to me, so I reply by underlining my availability to redo another test and that we had not talked about budget at all, so on my part there was no problem…



I receive a call: “The fact is that you made a real cinematic dubbing, with the dynamics of a film, if we presented it to the client, they would probably ask us to redo everything from scratch following your style… So our budget does not allow us to hire people like you (because how am I?) to be able to redo all the work… Unfortunately times are tough etc etc…”.

“Well, you asked for something cinematic…”



“Yes, but you were really good, seriously, but we expected something less, certainly not something from a real film…”


A strange and unexpected compliment… How to take it? I felt more and more like the victim of a: “I leave you because I don’t deserve you…”


I thank him for the clarification and for the promise: “Next time…” and say goodbye with the doubt that remains on whether it was all a huge excuse and a huge joke…


But if it had been an excuse, why bother writing to me, calling me and even complimenting me, for that matter?


Not long ago, among the various sponsorships, I came across a title that seemed familiar to me, my eye fell on it unconsciously and that worm in my mind started gnawing again, I clicked on it and was redirected to a site where it was possible to buy this fantastic “innovative” project (there are many of them and it was nothing innovative) where it was also possible to listen to extracts from the various chapters…


Well, “I leave you because I don’t deserve you”…

There are really good and excellent people, others who will become so, others still who are working on it, there is space for everyone, but in this case it was a real shame, a nice potential expressed in the wrong way, and here I come to tell another anecdote related to a simple course…


Courses in general are very technical, you have to explain something to someone, in that context you are the tool for teaching and transmitting knowledge…


For effective communication it is important to vary the tones, use the right pauses, lean on certain words to emphasize their meaning and many other technical aspects to consider. One thing to absolutely avoid is monotony. 2 hours of course read with the same intonation will not produce any result, they will bore and will not have anything special to communicate, in essence, both you who produce it and those who listen to your work will have only wasted time.


Anyway, I come across an excellent and particular course in my hands, another one of those jobs that I would have wanted to do at all costs, precisely because it was very “different from usual”, narrated in first person with a very informal and simple language, very close to mine, almost a podcast, I dare say…


Well, they communicate budget and deadlines to me, I accept but for correctness I communicate that I would not have been able to start working on it immediately as I had a commitment for the following day, but I would have delivered everything well before the set date.

The weekend passes and on Monday I start my production early.



Not having received confirmation, I suspend the work and communicate it with the excuse of some technical doubts, the morning passes and I receive no communication… So I decide to search for the person’s name on Google, among the various results a profile with the name that refers to a well-known platform of “freelance slavery” (of which I am still part, eh) catches my eye.


Last review dating back to the day before (Sunday): “Thank you for everything! It seems well done!”, I click on it and listen to what was the course I was producing at that moment, no editing, various clicks, background noises and above all monotony, a powerful and wonderful text expressed in a single note…


I ask for explanations and finally get an answer and the subjects were: “Budget and times” Let’s start from the assumption that she had told me the budget, I would have respected the times, it would have taken a minimum of trust and I would have concluded everything, but no! Here goes another powerful text…


“I leave you because I love you too much, but also because you cost me too much…”

Patience, but the main problem was only one for me: “It seems well done!”


Does it seem well done because that’s how you imagined it or does it seem well done just because it cost less and you made a colleague do the “hard work” to deliver it to you in record time?

So one was worth the other, as long as he delivered as soon as possible and if in the meantime he had saved you something, even better…


The “seems well done” will increasingly help to conceive people without hands and we, who are striving to manufacture ever better gloves, will take it in that place…


“I leave you because your life seems well done and I would do nothing but ruin it”…



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